In the last article we talked about the definition of success.  Everyone has the right to define success the way they see fit, and as we discussed, you definition of success has a lot to do with your background, you beliefs and your values.  In some cases, traditional definitions of success are being challenged by new ways of thinking and by changes in our society.  In this article we will focus on one such case, and review how dads are redefining success.

The traditional family was made out of a bread-winner father and a stay-at-home mom.  Men were expected to work long hours and be dedicated to their companies, putting the company above all other priorities.  In return companies provided lifetime employment, pension plans, and other perks.  Life was fairly predictable.

All of that was turned upside down in the last few decades.  Lifetime employment is a concept many of today’s young workers have never heard of.  Pension plans are a thing of the past.  Consequently, families have adjusted to the new realities of today’s job market.

The traditional family is now the rare exception.  The norm now is to have two working spouses whose combined income allows the family to live a comfortable life and hedge against the insecurities of a potential job loss.  If one spouse gets laid off, the other can get food on the table until the laid off spouse finds another job.  By having two sources of income, families can build their own retirement plan, since the company will not be there to provide them with a pension plan when needed.

The consequences of all these changes are quite significant.  The amount of time kids spend with either parent has been significantly reduced since both parents are now working outside of the home.  This has brought to the surface a deeper understanding of the value dads play in the upbringing of their children.  Dads are no longer just bread-winners in the same way that many past generation parents and grandparents were.  Fathers now participate much more in the upbringing of their children, and they give great value to the time they have available to share with their sons and daughters.

Monster.com, the online job site, did a survey that reveals that many working fathers want to get more involved in family life.  Most surprisingly, at least to old timers, the survey showed that men would not mind taking the role played by the traditional mother and stay at home taking care of the kids.  The survey also revealed that working dads are tapping into benefits that just a few years ago were only available to working mothers:

• Nearly 70% of fathers surveyed by Monster said they would consider being a stay-at-home parent if money were not a problem.
• 71% of fathers with a child under 5 took paternity leave when offered by their employers.
• 71% of fathers adopted flexible work schedules when offered by employers.
• 82% of dads viewed companies positively for offering a flex-time benefit.

Today’s fathers in their 20’s and 30’s don’t follow the career track and the definition of success in the same way that fathers did in previous generation:

 

For generations, “Fathers have defined success as big cars, big salaries and big homes.  But dads now define success as a good relationship with their children and spouse”

 

Armin Brott of Fathers at Work

 

The redefinition of success by fathers is not just lip service.  Data from a recent book, Changing Rhythms of American Family Life indicate that the time married fathers spend taking care of children has increased from 3 hours a week in 1985 to nearly 7 hours in 2000.  “Fathers are taking on more of the traditional mother’s role in the household, and they are more emotionally tied to families today,” says Don Winter of the Harrison Group, a marketing and research company based out of Connecticut.

 

As dads demand paternity leave, flexible work schedules and other benefits that allow them to spend more time with their children, companies are starting to respond as they compete for talent.  Many Fortune 500 companies are pitching family-friendly benefits to men in order to attract the best candidates in the market.

 

This is not your grandfather’s work environment anymore.  As fathers redefine the meaning of success, the working world is changing along.